Over the river and through the woods...

To see dead relatives we go!

Mom and Dad picked me up today to go to the cemetary. We went first to see Grandpa - always our first stop - and then visited the graves of Uncle Raymond, Aunt Evy, Linda, Larry, Jimmy, Canute, Great Grandma Steenson, and Great Grandpa Steenson. Auntie Polly had already been there, I'm sure, as there were large bouquets of flowers that looked to have come out of her yard. We also left the ones I'd brought.

Then we went to another cemetary to visit the graves of Grandpa Ehr, Grandma Ehr and Grandpa Barlow. Grandpa Barlow died even before Dad was born, but Grandma Ehr died on my birthday. Literally, on my birthday day. My grandma lost her grandmother and gained a granddaughter all in one fell swoop. We've always said that she had to die to make room for me. While I never had the opportunity to meet her, I've always felt a strong connection to her. I even wore her engagement ring as my something old at our wedding, and Grandma then gave the ring to me.

Grandpa Ehr was Grandma Ehr's second husband, my grandma's step-dad. I remember him, though vaguely. I was about 4 when he died. I remember him as a thin, bony man wearing his plaid flannel shirts, sitting in a wheel chair with an afghan over his lap. I remember, even more vaguely, visiting him in the nursing home. It smelled funny and we took him See's Candy.

While we were there, we saw some very old graves that were not well maintained. Perhaps there are no descendants left; perhaps those who are left are not in the know about their ancestors' graves, aren't around to care for them, or simply don't care. I don't know. But it got me thinking...Who will care for our things when we're gone? Who will arrange our memorial services and see to it that we're cremated and scattered or stored where we want to be? Who will visit my parents' remains, and the rest of my family?

But even those questions are not enough to make me rethink our decision to not have children. Wanting someone to care for my remains after I'm dead is not a reason to bring a child into this world. Because really, at that point, what will it matter to me?