I have social anxiety. I think I always have, but it seems to get worse as I get older. The worst possible situation for me is a group of people where there are lots of friends and I'm the one left out. Horrible. I get such anxiety that I often end up backing out of things at the last minute because I'm panicking over it. Sometimes it makes no sense - like the theatre banquet I was supposed to attend - and sometimes it really is a scary situation, like the rally at the state Capitol on Monday the 16th.
I am learning though. I know I'm going to freak on Monday if no one I know is going, so I reached out to our rep and asked her if she could provide me with a list of coworkers riding the same bus as me. A familiar face, someone to sit with, will make it so much easier for me.
I love my job, and I hate the idea of losing it, but I think I hate the idea of a new job even more. It means learning new people, new rules, new administrators, new unwritten norms. I am scared to death at the prospect of having to go someplace new next year and start over, when I'm just now getting comfortable where I am. That's why it is so important that I force myself to go to the rally on Monday, to help get some legislation passed to keep our education budget where it needs to be.
2 comments:
Dude, do I know how you feel....
It's one of the reasons I don't make friends very well. I think this is quite common though. You the same person at home that we know? I am quite different. Doubt you'd recognize me at home. Needless to say I'm much more silly that what you've experienced.
Cath? Pretty much the same.
Both you guys seem a little reserved. Bet that's not really the case huh?
Uh, no to being the same person at home. Very few people truly know me. I am crazy and silly at home. We both are. We joke that if we had kids they would think we're nuts because of the way we act at home.
In the theatre? Even worse than at home. Theatre people get me at my absolute wackiest. Of course, that's generally because I'm stressed and running on very little sleep. Oh the stories and pictures I have of me in the theatre...
Post a Comment