My Ethical Dilemma

When Ricky and I were dating, we looked for a church home together. It was important to us that we find a place we could grow as a couple. We found that home in Abundant Life Church, and it was a great place for us for about 5 years. After a while, though, we realized it was becoming something with which we weren't comfortable. It was becoming a "mega-church."

I've written about mega churches before. Ricky and I are very much against them. It becomes a performance, an act, and we don't like that at all. When the focus turns to how to make the service bigger better and more, the true purpose of our worship goes out the window. Everyone wants to be popular, it's true, but when a church gets too popular, when it's goal is to be cool instead of to educate and guide...well, there's a problem.

We left Abundant Life for many reasons. We were concerned that our tithe money, money given to the church in order to help those who needed it, was being used for things other than helping others in God's kingdom. We weren't cool with the thought of our money being used to buy new Fresnels or video equipment. We wanted to know that it was going to feed God's people, to clothe them and help them pay their bills, and we weren't convinced that was happening at Abundant Life.

We were also convicted that we needed to be worshipping in our own neighborhood, with our neighbors. It was taking us 30-45 minutes to commute to ALC, using resources that we felt could and should be used in other ways.

We looked around and realized the answer was right there the whole time - Milwaukie Christian Church, the church in which I grew up, where I had friends, where we were married. A church that could use the help of it's neighbors, a church in a neighborhood that could use it's help. So we made the switch and never looked back. We were happy there.

A couple of years ago, though, Ricky's work schedule changed and he began to work Sundays from 8-4. In the past two years, I can easily count on one hand the number of Sundays he's had off without having specifically requested it for some reason - and generally, if he requests a Sunday off, it's because we've got some event or will be out of town. So he's not able to go to church, and I don't like to go without him. I should, I know, but I don't like to. Which means, in the past two years, neither of us has gone to church very much.

Last week we started talking about finding a church with an evening service. Ours doesn't have one, and I'm not sure we have the demand to create one. They've tried in the past and the turnout wasn't great, so I don't think asking for one at our own church is an option. Apparently, very few churches in our area do evening services, as it's been really hard to find.

Finally, tonight, I stumbled upon one. Sunday evenings at 6 pm, about 10-15 minutes from our house. The only problem is, it's at a mega church. A church built to seat 2200 in it's main sanctuary. Granted, this service takes place in a smaller room, one only built for 500. This is a church with video equipment and a mess of lighting equipment...the list goes on and on. Are they doing great things? Possibly, maybe even probably. But are we comfortable with the things they choose to buy? I don't know that I can say I am, and I'm sure Ricky would be even less so.

So the question remains - do we try out a mega church, a place where we're not 100% on board with their practices but where we can worship together on a regular basis, or do we stay at a church we love with people we love but where Ricky can never attend and, because of that, I rarely do?